I Saw My Grandma Smile Today

I saw my grandma smile today.

I haven’t seen my grandma smile in five or six years. I haven’t even heard her talk or had a conversation with her.

But today, I saw her smile the biggest most genuine smile I have ever seen!

My grandma is 90 years old. My grandma has dementia.

A Bag Full of Stuffed Animals

In an effort to declutter our house, I have been selling things at yardsales, consignment sales, on eBay, and making donations to reuzit shops. But as I’ve been going through the kids stuff, I felt there had to be a better purpose for all the little stuffed animals we have accumulated over the years.

I stuffed all the little teddy bears and smaller animals in a big black garbage bag. It set in our basement for months. And then I had an idea!

Why not let the kids pick a stuffed animal to give away the next time we visit great-grandma?!

So today, we went down to the basement, and I told the kids what we were going to do. I opened up the bag and they each dug through it, finding just the one they wanted to give away. We closed the bag, saving the rest for another time, and went on our way.

The Drive To See Great-Grandma

As we drove we talked about the animals and how we were going to give them to one of great-grandma’s friends. How it was going to bless someone’s day and make them smile. I asked them to start saying goodbye to their animals, as we approached the home. (Let’s face it, when you have toddlers and preschoolers, you know you have to prepare them in order to avoid a potential emotional breakdown. We are all human!)

With our animals in hand, we walked into the dementia unit and found great-grandma sitting in the common area in her wheelchair. She was sitting with the other residents, yet all alone, staring into space.

As we approached her, I knelt down to her level and said “Hello Grandma! I am Kathy, you’re granddaughter.”

My four-year-old daughter was so excited to show her the bunny she picked out. She immediately held it in front of my grandma’s face and THAT IS WHEN IT HAPPENED!

She smiled.

Not just a grin. In fact, not just a smile. It was a big old-fashioned, mouth open-wide smile. From ear to ear, with her eyes smiling too. I don’t think she had her dentures in, so you can imagine how it was just the hugest smile!

My daughter’s face beamed with delight.

Talking to Great-Grandma

I first had each of my kids introduce themselves. This is when it usually gets awkward for me. You don’t know what else to say. You don’t know if they can hear you or understand you. You feel like you look silly and are talking to nobody. But you try to put all that aside, and know that you are there out of love and obedience. The Bible does say to take care of widows, right?

We started to sing “Jesus loves me.” I figure if dementia patients can remember anything, its probably from their childhood, and more than likely a song or something they heard often as a child. As we sang she stared at us, and every so often would close her eyes, as if it was peaceful to her.

After we finished singing, I said, “Grandma, I almost thought we were going to put you to sleep.” She closed her eyes, and didn’t open them again while we were there. We said goodbye, and I asked my oldest son to find someone he wanted to give his teddy bear to. We had decided on the way in that my daughter would give her bunny to great-grandma and my sons would find someone else to bless.

Searching for Someone Else To Bless

He immediately knew which gentleman he wanted to give his teddy bear to. A tall, slender man in a long wheelchair, hunched a little bit over. He had been next to great-grandma when we arrived but was wheeled away because his buzzer kept beeping. He held his mouth open wide, and didn’t look at anyone. There was a caretaker with him sitting at a table.

I explained to the caretaker what we were doing and she thought it was wonderful. My six-year-old handed him the teddy bear, and the man lifted his head up and half-smiled. We think he tried to shake my son’s hand too. I guided my son to tell him, “I wanted to give this to you. I hope it blesses your day.”

The caretaker thanked us, and said that his wife would be so happy to see his new gift. That alone touched my heart. To think of the spouse, and how we not only were touching the lives of the dementia patients, but their spouses and family too!

My Two-Year Old Surprised Me

It was then my two-year-old’s turn. He was a little shy, so we helped him pick someone. As we were searching, the caretaker tapped us on the shoulder and pointed to an old lady, hunched over in her chair with her head down. “She loves stuffed animals,” the caretaker said.

To be honest, I had seen the lady earlier and figured she might not be the best candidate for my kids. She seemed extra solitary, and to herself. I didn’t know how she would respond, or if she would even look at us.

To my surprise, my two-year-old opened up when we reached her. He immediately handed her the little tiger he had picked out, and set it in her lap. She almost scared us, as she started clapping and made a little yelp when he gave it to her.

As I watched my children’s eyes and faces, I could tell they were thrilled at her response. “We hope it blesses your day,” they said.

The Dementia Patients Touched My Son’s Heart

As we were walking out of the dementia unit, my six-year-old brought tears to my eyes. “Mommy, we should bring one for everyone!”

It had never occurred to me to bring the whole bag and give them all away today. What a brilliant and thoughtful idea. I was touched.

Visiting the Dementia Unit is Hard

It is tough stuff.

Especially if one of the patients is someone you know.

Preceding our visit, I had often thought about asking the receptionist if there was another area of the home we could visit. So that when my kids would give the gift they could talk to the elderly person and have a conversation. I thought it would be more meaningful. And they would understand it better. They would hear the words “thank you”, and know the person was thankful to receive it.

But I am so glad we visited the dementia unit, and instead faced my fears. I may have felt awkward in the dementia unit, but my kids did not. They didn’t feel embarrassment or awkwardness. They could only feel love. I think to them, they were having a conversation with the patients. And even though they didn’t hear a “thank you”, they felt it.

I saw my grandma smile today.

My children saw their great-grandma smile.

We made a difference.

We were blessed!